my heart

is laying in pieces on the floor. but what do you do when it is yourself that put them down on the ground?
sometimes the only thing harder than leaving is staying

isn't it beautiful

how people are the same in every language? we laugh in french, we cry in spanish, we smile in german. it's all the same. no matter what kind of language barriers lay between two humans, we will always have human emotion in common.
:)

familiar it may seem

so...i think i may have found god. don't tell anyone!

oh shoot. i probably should spell it this way: God. capital G! well good to know i'm off to a fantastic start.

but really, it's kind of nice, it's like having your own special friend

I'm my only friend of mine & love is just a piece of time

hello! it's been a while, once again. i'm sitting at home, it's almost saturday night. i threw up today, it was nasty (TMI). here's to food poisoning...anyway im going out with kids from my old school tonight. that'll be interesting! i always go out when i dont feel so good, i hate missing out on things :/ ah anyway i gotta go, i need to get ready.

oh and i love high school swim team too.

five six seven eight

summmmmerrrr. oh and daily pracgices. im tired. this is for ryan moore. okay bye :)

im sleepy too. trying not to be codependent. you know, taking it one day at a time!

have some peace of mind

sorry it's been forever. ahh lots of things are going on right now, but for the most part there are somethings i am reaaally confused about. its mostly about my friends and such. or more of who i want to be my friend...high school really does change you. that's for sure. there are some people that used to be my best friend, and now, i don't know if i'd want to be associated with them because of the things that they do. is it weird that i have certain friends i feel like are only compatible with me when i'm in a certain mood? well thats true. friends that i want to hang out when i want to act like im still in 7 grade, friends for when i want to act like im too cool for my other friends, friends when i want to just be crazy and laugh my head off, and friends when i just wanna chiiill and not care about what's going on. why can't you just find all of that in 3 or 4 people? i wish. too be honest, a lot of my friends are guys. many of my girlfriends do not like that. im SORRY but guys are 20 bajillion times easier to hang out with. if they have a problem with it they can stop being my friend, whatever. the highschool that i go to doesn't really have that many people at it (in our grade and division), so the people you can be friends with isn't so diverse. i just need to make some adjustments as to who i hang out with. i guess its like cleaning up your room, it takes hours of organizing and its annoying, but it's worth it, you get the feeling of being clean afterward. and i want that! friends that don't judge me, and are into the same kind of things, and i don't have to worry about them talking behind my back or not keeping my secrets. p.s, dont get me wrong- i have a good few friends that are utterly amazing, but some of them, i don't get to see as much as i would want too.
until later- which is soon, promise :p

distractions

so my homecoming dress came today, the one i fell in love with. and it was the wrong dress; that's all im going to say because it makes me really angry to think about it. so i was thinking about stuff in history today, and about the people in my oh so grand life. and about the ones we love; i know i love only a few people in my life. i find it hard to connect with people on a real level, so i have a lot of good friends, but few really awesomely true friends (yes i just wrote that). the same goes for Alex. it's kind of like shiny new toys, you want them at first, but you're always going to back to your old original one that youve had for so long, at least that's the way i see it. so i find interest in the new people i meet, and i like them alot at first, but at the end of the day there is really only that one person that i truly want, and care about. the others don't mean anything, because i think when it comes down to it, you only have one person that really means something to you. i'm just trying to take every day and learn something from it, highschool is a crazy experience and fun new things are always getting thrown my way now. it's easy to get caught up, and i feel like i'm in a position where i'm caught right now- i'm trying not to get too distracted.